Tasks 6, 7 and 8 - a re-cap!

I avoided these tasks until I absolutely had to do something about them.

Task 6 - Kitchen makeover wasn't too difficult as I had already done this makeover over 6 months ago (and there was barely anything left to throw out).  The only things still remaining are chicken biscuits for the grand kids (and I don't like them much so they're not a real temptation) and my mini Reese's Peanut Butter cups in the freezer (these are a temptation but I've kept them because they are only 42 calories each and if I'm absolutely desperate for a chocolate fix I can have one and not feel completely horrible).  Mish would probably kill me for having them in the freezer but I figure one mini piece isn't a huge ordeal if it's all I eat of them.  And I know I can avoid them because they're not even remotely on my mind throughout each day.

Other than that...there aren't any horrible cereals or high fat content foods in the house.  I usually buy whole foods and only occasionally buy bottled pasta sauce or things like that (which I haven't bought in a while now). 

Task 7 - Organise and Diarise was a little harder to do.  I know it's my biggest problem (fitting in exercise in each day) and that is something I'm just not sure how to fix.  I've diarised that I would be working out every morning before work each of the exercise tasks Michelle has posted for me, but I only followed my diary two days last week.

I know making these changes is important to my success...I just don't know how to make them.  I know I need to start riding my bike and get riding every day to and from the train station.  This will be one way to get my exercise into every day.

I aim to do this by the end of this month...and be riding my bike every day by the end of this first month in the 12WBT program.

Task 8 - Measure up
This one was the hardest of all the tasks...I didn't want to know my measurements nor did I want to see my before photo.  I knew deep down just how bad it was, but I didn't want it written down on paper, out on the web for Michelle's team to see. 

I mean, how could I let them see it when I could barely look at the measurements myself? 

I'm an avoider...I avoid conflict wherever possible in my personal life.  And my weight has been the biggest item I've avoided all my life. 

I've fed my fear, punished my muscles with non-use and pushed my weight consciousness into the back recesses of my mind.  I knew that taking the measurements would give it strength and it would be hardest thing to avoid in this program.  And now it sits in my consciousness taunting me saying "you can't do this, you never have been able to so why bother trying now, you're 40 years old and everyone says it's harder when you're this age or older..." and on and on.

Can't.
Cannot.
Horrible to hear from anyone else let alone listen to them inside your head telling you that you can't do it.

I WON'T GIVE THOSE WORDS POWER ANYMORE.

I CAN, I WILL AND I AM...MAKING MY LIFE BETTER...TO STRENGTHEN THAT SLIM GIRL WHO'S BEEN LOCKED AWAY INSIDE BENEATH THIS FAT. 

I WILL NO LONGER LET THIS TWISTED, NEGATIVE AND HORRIBLE PERSON TELL ME WHETHER I CAN OR CANNOT DO THIS BECAUSE I CAN DO THIS AND I AM DOING THIS!